Welcome to my brand new blog celebrating all things cool in the world of videogames. In each one I’ll present a new list of my five favourite… whatevers, along with a brief explanation as to why I think they belong on a top 5 list.
Now, since I only pretend to know a little bit of a lot about games and the industry, it’s likely that I’ll miss a fair few items that deserve (or even demand) a position on one of these lists. If that’s the case, feel free to comment with your own nominations and generally make me feel a wee bit small. Or a lot small, if you like – just remember, though, I’m a family man…
First up, I’m looking at an age-old story-kickstarter, something that all good action games need: a vendetta – one man (or woman, or cyborg, or whatever) waging a righteous war against an enemy far greater and deadlier than he. We’ve seen a lot of them over the years, but here are My Five Favourite…
GRUDGE MATCHES
#5
THE HORSEMAN WAR VS. ALL OF CREATION
Darksiders (Xbox 360, PS3, PC)
Vigil Games / THQ (2010)
In all fairness, War kind of brought this one on himself. Not one for brains over brawn, he simply didn’t realise that he was being set up until after he’d accidentally damned the whole of humanity to oblivion. Of course, after that, he just couldn’t let shit lie, and embarked upon a bloody campaign of death and destruction against pretty much everything that his cock-up had left alive. It’s always best to be thorough.
#4
SAM FISHER VS. THIRD ECHELON
Splinter Cell: Conviction (Xbox 360, PS3, PC)
Ubisoft Montreal (2010)
Third Echelon were asking for this one. It’s really not a bright idea to train a man like Sam Fisher to be one of the deadliest stealth operatives in the world, and then mess him about to the point of screwing with his family. That’s going to get anyone’s goat, but in this case Sam went for Third Echelon’s jugular, uncovering (as one does, in these situations) a meaty conspiracy to blow wide open in the process.
#3
GORDON FREEMAN VS. THE COMBINE
Half Life 2 (Xbox 360, PS3, PC)
Valve Software (2004)
Gordon Freeman, silent, speccy protagonist of Valve Software’s epic (and as-yet unfinished) Half Life series, is probably one of the unlikeliest heroes in gaming history. But after the “resonance cascade” that he caused opened up a rift in dimensional space and led to the domination of Earth by the Combine, Gordo stepped up. Initially armed only with his iconic crowbar, Dr. Freeman laid down the smack in exceptional style, showing the creepy Combine that humanity wasn’t done with yet.
#2
DANTE VS. LUCIFER
Dante’s Inferno (Xbox 360, PS3)
Visceral Games / EA (2010)
Dante Alighieri wasn’t really a mass-murdering butcher in the Holy Crusade. He was actually a poet with a vivid imagination, raised on nightmarish stories of 14th Century Catholic propaganda. However, had Visceral Games made that version, it might not have shifted so many units. Plus, we wouldn’t have gotten to see a self-flagellant nutjob carve his way through 9 circles of Hell to wrest his beloved Beatrice from the clutches of Lucifer himself. And where many men might have given up and abandoned all hope – especially when faced with the Devil’s terrifyingly-pendulous knackersack – Dante pushed on and kicked some serious infernal ass.
#1
MASTER CHIEF VS. THE COVENANT
Halo (Xbox, Xbox 360, PC)
Bungie / Microsoft (2002)
When the evil, ethnic-cleansing alien empire known as the Covenant rocked up on Earth’s doorstep to wipe us all out, they didn’t reckon on one thing: Petty Officer John-117, better known as the Master Chief. Not only did the Covenant make the mistake of picking the fight in the first place, they then went and glassed planet Reach, killing off the plucky Noble Team and pretty much every other Spartan II super-soldier in existence. Then they killed the Chief's mentor, Admiral Keyes, his friend Sergeant Johnson and spunky ally, Miranda. And goddamnit, they got his armour all scuffed! He responded by killing the stinking hell out of every Covenant scumbag he came across, eventually finishing the fight and saving humanity from the brink of destruction in spectacularly masculine fashion – well at least until 343 Studios think of a semi-plausible reason to bring him back. Oo-rah!
So there they are, the first of my five favourites – and I’ll be posting another five every time I can be arsed until I run out of ideas or someone makes me stop. Feel free to bring your own noise to the party, and I’ll be back ASAP with my next Five Favourite…
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